Healthy and Loving Relationships
‘Healthy and Loving’ relationships with our self, beloved, family, and friends are possible. For those that are missing these experiences, it is likely that somewhere in the past there was or still is psychological ‘shame.’ Shaming prevents an individual from being the ‘precious and free’ human being they were brought into the world as. Psychological shame creates an unhealthy foundation upon which to have relationships. If you would like to have ‘healthy and loving’ relationships, it is suggested you look into shaming and it’s result: codependency.
Working on personal codependency does the following. Restores one to living a life where one is ‘vulnerable.’ When one is vulnerable, one can be free to be ‘truthful.’ When one is truthful, one can be free to be ‘authentic.’ When one is authentic, one has a healthy new operating system in which to have ‘healthy and loving’ relationships.
In codependency work, one learns life skills in how to set ‘boundaries.’ With appropriate boundaries, one may use ‘clearings’ to modify dysfunctional old relationships, and create healthy ones. With these new life skills, one improves ‘self-esteem.’ When self-esteem is improved, one becomes ’empowered.’ When one is empowered, one lives a life that is: vulnerable, truthful, and authentic. The circle becomes complete, when one returns to living life ‘precious and free’ as you were intended to be. One’s new life has ‘healthy and loving’ relationships with one’s self, beloved, family, and friends.
To better understand if someone you know is codependent, please read:
Patterns and Characteristics of Codependency.
CODA or Codependents Anonymous is a program whose only requirement to attend is the wish to have ‘healthy and loving relationships.’ Meetings occur weekly throughout the world. You may attend a meeting to see if it is something that may be helpful.
The meeting is a place for people to speak freely, as they choose. Everything said at a meeting is confidential and anonymous. There is no need to speak, and no one is allowed to comment on what someone else says.
CODA refers to ‘ a higher power of your understanding.’ The higher power concept is used to help those that are being swept down the river of life, and need a rock to hold on to, rather than be swept over the waterfall. Many people are turned off to a god concept or religion. Do not let that dissuade you from attending.
‘Relationship‘ is multifaceted and includes being ‘healthy and loving’ with: one’s – self, family members, beloved, and friends. Codependence is generational. (i.e. It is passed down through generations.) The ultimate goal of codependency work is to sever the generational transmission, and allow the youngest generation to live free of codependency. To have the youngest generation one day raise their own children – ‘precious and free,’ and with ‘healthy and loving’ relationships.
Persons with Addictions frequently have codependency as the root cause undermining the self, and creating the fertile ground for addictions to occur. It is suggested that persons working on addiction issues work on codependency. When one lives a life with healthy and loving relationships, one has an improved chance of dealing with the power of addiction issues.
Book: The classical work on codependency is below. You may buy an inexpensive used copy at Amazon. Pass it along to someone you know after you read it.
Jacob Murdock 